Sceleratus
by Angsty Glowstick
Summary: It was a mere mistake at the beginning, another hitch in their relationship. But when something sinister begins to unfold, Yuriy finds his life unravelling before his very eyes. YuriyxKai. Rated for later. DISCONTINUED SORRY
1. The beginning

**Sceleratus **_(latin; to pollute with guilt and blood, etc)_

**Summary: **It was a mere mistake at the beginning, another hitch in their relationship. But when something sinister begins to unfold, Yuriy finds his life unravelling before his very eyes. YuriyxKai.

**Disclaimer: **Beyblade does not belong to me.

**Warnings: **Yaoi, language, violence, and death.

Also; this is not set in a world where beyblading doesn't exist, _at all_. I'm merely borrowing the characters for my own amusement. Call it an _AU_ if you want.

Kai and Yuriy are adults here (20's) and do not share a past. They met along the way and now reside in Japan.

**Notes:** This is something that's been brewing in my mind for a long time now. When I read Sinners by Ladya C. Maxine it just had to be written. Originally it was a tyka but Sinners inspired me otherwise! I hope you enjoy reading.

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

The door of his office opened slowly, the voices in the busy corridor drifting inside momentarily before footsteps sounded and then the door was firmly shut, cutting off the noise again.

"Hey."

Yuriy sighed and rubbed his eyes, watching as his friend and colleague strolled over and perched on the desk, grinning at him. He sighed once again, now in exasperation, when a wink was sent his way before dropping his head into his hands.

"Long morning?" came the amused question.

When he didn't answer, the other leaned over and whispered in his ear, "I can make you feel better…"

"Bryan," he snapped, looking up, "I've been taken for five damn years and yet you still flirt with me. What's your problem?"

Bryan looked surprised for a moment before it crossed and he wore a neutral expression, holding his hands up in a placating manner, "Hey, what the hell is yours? I was just teasing you." He eyed the other as though just noticing something on his face.

"Well, now's not the time. I'm not in the mood."

A short silence fell before Bryan stood, walking over and standing behind his friend. Before Yuriy could protest, firm hands were placed on his shoulders, massaging the tense muscles. He relaxed into the soothing touch and stared off into space.

"Spill. Now."

The sudden words brought him from his reverie to look over his shoulder. Bryan's face still held a neutral expression, but his eyes betrayed the fact that he knew something was up.

"It—there isn't anything to spill. I'm just tired." He jerked when a thumb was dug into his skin, "Fuck. What's that for?"

"Don't try to lie to me, Ivanov."

"Bryan…"

But the other continued to firmly massage his shoulders, the touch dangerously demanding. He contemplated the matter for a while before speaking.

"It's Kai."

Bryan snorted, "Like I didn't guess that much."

"It's nothing. I'm just upset because we had an argument."

"Just an argument?" the hands from his shoulders disappeared, only to grab his head and pull it back so that he was looking up at his friend. Before he could speak, the square bandage that had been on his upper left cheek was peeled off, making him wince. The other held his head in place, reaching out to touch what resided in the now red patch of skin. It wasn't a cut or something of the sort, but an ugly bruise that stood in contrast to his pale complexion. "He hit you," he said, accusingly.

Yuriy pulled away from the touch and spun his chair around to glare at him, "That fucking hurt," he hissed.

"That son of a bitch!" Bryan retorted, "He fucking hit you!"

"He was stressed, alright?"

"Stressed?" was the incredulous answer, "He's always stressed. But that doesn't give him the right—"

Yuriy shook his head, cutting his friend off, "No, he was _really_ stressed. I don't know; he didn't seem like his usual self last night."

"Bullshit," Bryan spit out, "If I get my hands on him…"

"I'd rather you didn't make threats about my boyfriend," Yuriy snapped, his anger sparking, "And that's not what's bothering me, anyhow."

"Of course it's bothering you, look at yourself!"

"No, it's not!" when he was shot an expectant look, he continued more calmly, "Listen, he wanted to talk to me about something important. I don't know what it is since we didn't get around to it," Bryan snorted at this, but Yuriy ignored him, "But it's killing me." His hand strayed to touch his bruised cheek tenderly, "Great, now I don't have anything to cover it up."

Bryan dismissed the dirty look shot his way, but raised an eyebrow and stepped back when Yuriy stood, "Going somewhere?"

"Grab something to eat."

He eyed the clock, "Twenty minutes of lunch break left."

Yuriy continued on his way to the door, "I don't care. They're not going to miss me." As he reached for the handle, he heard the other approaching and shot him a questioning look.

Bryan shrugged, "I'm coming."

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

Yuriy had appreciated Bryan's attempts to cheer him up, but found himself with a resounding headache at the end of their little outing for lunch, which the other had insisted to be a date. They both now walked back to his office, greeting random colleagues and being obligated to stop for small chats with unwanted inquiries about his bruised cheek. A figure suddenly jumped before them, narrowly missing hitting them and spilling Bryan's coffee before it sped off. Bryan cursed as they heard a female voice screeching threats after it.

"What did Kinomiya do this time?" Yuriy stated more than questioned when Hilary Tachibana came to a halt in front of them. Bryan disliked her for reasons unknown, but Yuriy treated her just as any other colleague. His bruise was shot a curious look but she didn't comment.

"Oh, just being his usual irritating self," she smoothed down her lab cat, similar to the one Bryan wore over his clothes, "It's hard getting work done when you work in the same office."

Bryan raised an eyebrow, "And just who put you two in the same office again?" he asked, sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

She shot him a glare, "You're just pissed Ivanov isn't yours, Kuznetsov."

"Office partner, or something entirely different?" Bryan's voice was of smooth inquiry.

"Still pursuing, I see." She crossed her arms haughtily at his dangerously narrowed eyes, and Yuriy decided to step in before the awkward moment got violent. He knew that Bryan drew his line when it came to women, but with Hilary he wasn't so sure.

"We work in different fields anyhow, there's no way we could've shared an office," he grabbed Bryan's arm, noting his tightening grip on his cup of coffee, and began to steer him away, "We're late enough as it is. Good day, Ms. Tachibana."

When they reached his office, he threw Bryan inside and closed the door behind them.

"Control yourself," he ground out, "They won't hesitate to kick you off if your temper gets the better of you, especially if the receiving end is a female."

"I can't stand her," Bryan growled, scowling.

Yuriy rolled his eyes, "Well you better get to the labs then before someone starts to wonder if you're skipping work. Don't do something stupid on your way down, either," he added as the other stalked to the door, pulling it open. When it was shut again, he sighed wearily and moved to his desk, plopping down into his chair and leaning back, eyes closed. When he opened them, he wasn't at all surprised to find a thick file of paperwork that had materialized during his absence lying on his desk. Before he could reach to flip through it, however, his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and checked the number, his heart fluttering.

"_Hey."_ The voice on the line was quiet after he had flipped the phone open.

"Hi," was all he could bring himself to say.

He heard Kai take a deep breath before speaking again, _"Listen, I—can I take you out to dinner after work?"_

"Okay."

"_Yuriy…"_ the voice now sounded tired.

"What? I said okay. I have work to get done, Kai," even as he said those words, he felt slightly guilty.

"_I—alright. I'll pick you up after work. Don't worry about your car, we'll get it later."_

Before he could respond, the line was cut off and he found himself listening to silence. He discarded the mobile on his desk, reaching for the file awaiting him. Reading over the page quickly, he picked up a pen more out of habit than anything else to look over their newest multiple sclerosis research.

"Damn it," he muttered after a while, eyeing the small stack of abundant information before resigning himself to his fate, "I could use some more coffee right about now."

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

As the clock ticked tauntingly closer to five p.m., Yuriy found himself getting restless, nervously shooting it looks every ten seconds. But when five struck, ending his working hours, he didn't make a move to leave. He had long since finished reading over the assigned research pages, as well as made his own report. But he continued scanning over each and every sheet of paper, even as the time neared to ten after five. He knew that he was running away from the situation at hand, but he was dreading meeting Kai. Last night hadn't been one of their best times together, and he didn't know how both their reactions would be after meeting for the first time since. Even though they'd been together for such a long time, him and Kai officially still had separate places and he hadn't seen him in the morning. He put the papers down, making to get up, but his phone went off. He watched it for a while as it vibrated, making its way closer and closer to the edge of the desk, then snatched up it to answer.

"_Your car's still here, so I know you hadn't left,"_ there was a pause, and then, _"Aren't you going to come out?"_

"I—yeah, just had something to finish up. I'll be right out." He shut the phone and put it in his pocket as he made his way out the door. He wondered idly why Bryan hadn't come to bother him after work, but before he could brush off the thought, somebody called out to him. Stopping in defeat, he waited as the aforementioned man jogged up to his side.

"You're still here," he stated rather unnecessarily.

"Really?" He could hear the grin in the other's voice. "I had some lab work to finish— figured that I might as well. Then I had to come up here to pick something up," he indicated the folder in his hands, "How come _you're_ still here?"

Yuriy merely shrugged, not caring whether the taller man caught it or not. To his relief, Bryan chose not to pester him, and they continued their way to the elevators. Even though most employees had got off work about fifteen minutes ago, there still were a few people conversing down the hall. One of them left the group, a woman, and walked over. She eyed Yuriy critically after nodding at Bryan in acknowledgement.

"What happened?" Julia Fernandez asked, and Yuriy rubbed his cheek self consciously. He shook his head, hoping she'd get the hint. She did, only shooting him a disapproving look before stepping away, "Well, I have to get going. See you guys tomorrow."

Before either of them could respond, she strolled away and the elevator doors opened. Stepping inside, Bryan pressed the button for the floor underneath before pressing the G for ground floor as well. Yuriy raised an eyebrow in question as the doors shut behind them.

"Did you think I'd take paperwork home with me? I have to drop this off," he said pointedly, now flipping through the folder. A _ping _informed Bryan of his destination, fourth floor, and he slipped out after a quick goodbye. Yuriy slumped against the smooth wall of the lift, his mind now once again plagued by a certain blunette.

When he stepped out of the building, he found Kai's sleek Mercedes waiting for him by the front doors. Taking a calming breath, he opened the passenger door and got in, fastening his seat belt. Kai wasn't looking at him; he was eyeing the steering wheel as though contemplatively. Finally, Yuriy couldn't take the silence.

"I'm sorry for being late."

Kai shook his head and started the ignition, "It's okay," he said, even though Yuriy knew he was impatient. They remained in silence as Kai pulled out of the parking lot of the Multiple Sclerosis Research Center, better known as the MSRC, and into the main street. But then he spoke again, "I've made reservations at Masa."

Yuriy almost wanted to object. Instead he merely nodded, knowing that the other would catch it out of the corner of his eye. Masa was one of the most expensive restaurants around, but he wasn't surprised. Kai always had rather expensive tastes, a luxury that came with being the CEO of a famous company. But Kai also knew that Yuriy didn't care for expensive things, even if it was a make-up dinner that he had in mind. He turned to stare out of the window, wondering about what Kai had wanted to tell him the previous night.

When they reached the parking lot of Masa and Kai smoothly parked the car, neither of them got out. Yuriy kept staring out the window, now at the view of the expensive restaurant. Finally, Kai reached out a hand and gently grabbed his chin, turning his face to look into his. His eyes were unreadable and Yuriy found himself getting lost in them, but then they flickered away and to his cheek. Kai left his chin, hand now fluttering over the bruise before leaning over, soft lips taking the place of his fingers. Yuriy's breath hitched and he closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Kai murmured against the tender skin, his breath ghosting over it as he kissed it gently. Yuriy blindly reached for the other's hand and entwined it with his, remaining silent for a while. The lips had stopped their movements but remained pleadingly still over his skin.

"Is this your idea of making up?" Yuriy asked after the pause, motioning with their entwined hands in the direction of Masa, and regretted it when Kai pulled back. The blunette merely studied him for a moment, but Yuriy couldn't meet his eyes.

"I can't believe I hit you," he said, sounding disgusted at himself, "Nothing I say is going to take back my actions but—"

"I've already forgiven you," Yuriy interrupted, their eyes locking once again. He was about to say something else but it fled his mind when a mouth met his, and he melted in the slight embrace.

As they waited for their dinner, Yuriy fidgeted. Despite the luxury of the restaurant, he was consciously uncomfortable even though he felt much better that last night's dispute had finally been resolved. Kai watched him from across the table, and after a few seconds of trying to evade the gaze, he finally looked up to meet it.

"Sorry," Kai said, giving him a slight smile. He usually wasn't one for apologies and Yuriy wasn't sure what exactly he was sorry for, but he didn't have a chance to reply. "You don't seem comfortable; we can leave if you want."

Yuriy shook his head, "You made reservations, and this place is damn expensive."

He felt more at ease when his lover reached over and grabbed his hand, caressing his knuckles with a thumb. He waited for Kai to speak, but decided to take the initiative when no words where forthcoming.

"Kai?"

"Hm?"

"Yesterday, there was something you wanted to talk to me about," it was a reminder, not a pressing statement. For a moment, something flickered in Kai's eyes, and then he let go of Yuriy's hand.

"After we eat," was all he said, leaving Yuriy at a loss of reassuring contact.

But Kai didn't speak all evening, and Yuriy was getting rather impatient by the time they pulled into the driveway of Kai's large house, where he parked behind his hummer. Yuriy never understood why one person needed two cars; Kai liked to spoil himself.

"What about my car?" he asked, when the other moved to get out.

Kai looked back, "I'll drop you off at work tomorrow."

Yuriy wanted to protest, but decided that he might as well spend the night at Kai's. Sighing softly, he also got out, closing the door after him and following his boyfriend to the house. Kai unlocked the door and punched in the security code before he ushered him inside.

He had been here just the previous evening, when Kai had received a phone call that had completely changed his mood. Yuriy didn't know what it had been about, having written it off as business-related. But a sudden argument had sprung up not long after Kai had admitted he had something to tell him, and then Yuriy had stormed out with the initial shock of getting struck. Now that he thought about it, he felt that the call had been most suspicious. Kai hadn't given much of a response to the speaker, and then he had clammed up. Anticipating an explanation, he made his way to the kitchen after taking off his shoes, Kai automatically following. They weren't about to eat or drink, since they'd just had dinner, but it was a habit that both had picked up a long time ago, always choosing to relax around the kitchen table.

While Yuriy seated himself, Kai remained standing, leaning against the wall across. Suddenly, he seemed unable to keep whatever he had been holding in any longer.

"I did something wrong," he started, and Yuriy looked up with a raised eyebrow, "A long time ago, and now it's coming back to haunt me."

The way Kai was speaking made it hard to decipher if it that was what he had been meaning to tell him all along.

"What is it?" Yuriy finally asked when Kai didn't continue, and the other ran a hand over his face and then through his hair. He resisted the urge to do the same to his.

"Yuriy, there isn't a good way to say this, but please don't say anything until I finish."

Nodding mutely, Yuriy continued to regard his boyfriend. Kai met his gaze head on when he said, "I slept around with this girl. I was drunk."

Yuri's breath caught before he remembered the other's previous words and his eyes narrowed. He didn't especially like that fact, but it probably didn't have anything to do with him. 'A long time ago' was possibly before they'd gotten together. Kai wouldn't cheat on him—he wouldn't.

"She got pregnant," Kai continued, helpfully.

For a moment, he was confused, and then realization started dawning on him.

"She didn't want to abort, so she kept the child. I have a son. That was five years ago, when we'd first gotten together."

A shocked silence ensued, and through the haze, Yuriy felt his throat constricting.

"And you're telling me this _now_?"

Kai shook his head, pushing away from the wall and suddenly looking extremely tired, "Yuriy, something happened."

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

How is it so far? Please review and tell me, I have a whole plot thought out for this. Also, reading over it, it seems that some parts resemble Sinners, but that's completely unintentional and my plotline is not similar to it at all.


	2. Gone wrong

**Disclaimer/Warnings/Summary/Etc: **see previous chapter.

Three reviews, that's good enough for me! I've finished writing the next chapter. It's slightly shorter than the other one, but not too short. Following much contemplation, I have also decided to use the name 'Yuriy' instead of 'Tala'. I don't know; it just sounds better. I hope you guys like this.

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

"_Yuriy, something happened."_

Yuriy didn't know what happened next. He wasn't even sure whether his mind processed the last statement properly. But at this point he didn't care. He suddenly found himself in Kai's face, trapping him against the wall. Kai merely looked on wearily as though the whole situation didn't interest him.

"You cheated on me," his voice was quivering, but he didn't care, "When we _first_ got together? _Five_ fucking years ago, and you have a son! I'm assuming you knew about him all along?" there was an unnecessary nod, and Yuriy closed his eyes. His teeth were clenched as he continued, "And then you come, and throw it in my face LIKE IT'S FUCKING NOTHING!"

To his absolute shock, Kai laughed; a dry, humorless laugh. Feeling his chest closing in on itself, he made a beeline for the door, but his wrist was caught and he was pulled back. Kai was staring him in the eyes, looking almost sad.

"I knew you'd be mad, but sit the fuck down. It gets better."

Before he could protest, he was pushed back and into a chair, feeling everything within him cracking. His mind was beginning to reel. Anger and pain were now fighting for dominance, clogging up his thinking. He stared up at Kai mutely, who sighed.

"You promised not to say anything until I'm done—I'm not done yet. You can do anything you want after."

Now it was Yuriy's turn to laugh. Kai watched apprehensively as he doubled over, the sound ending in a sob, "What is this, Kai, some kind of sick joke?"

He remained knelt over, not wanting the other to see his tears. But Kai pulled up a chair, setting it up before his and sitting down; he reached out a hand to brush the hair back from Yuriy's lowered face.

"This is been killing me since last night," he started, stroking the fiery locks, "_She_ had full custody on the kid. But then—that phone call," he sighed, "Look at me, Yuriy. Please." When the other didn't oblige, his hand dropped, and silence stretched.

To Yuriy it was bliss. He couldn't understand why waves were rippling through his body, bringing floods of silent tears to run down his cheeks. He didn't know why he had reacted so fast; the whole thing had sunk in like a guillotine's blade. But he guessed it must have been everything: the stress of work, the strain in the relationship, Kai's lash out the previous night. These things just happened to pile up inconveniently, preventing him from finding a voice to speak. He had to control himself. Things weren't going to get anywhere if he acted irrationally about it. But god, it hurt. He loved Kai more than anyone he had in his life.

He suddenly found himself being pulled up, and his face was pressed onto a firm chest. Not knowing what else to do, he let his fingers tangle in the material of Kai's business suit as he continued.

"I have to tell you this now; I can't evade it any longer. I thought that as long as you didn't know, things would be fine. You wouldn't get hurt and—I don't know what I was thinking," he paused, "But that phone call changed everything. It was the hospital; there was a car accident yesterday. She died, the kid's now in the ICU. He might not make it," his voice held a resigned sadness, and Yuriy's grip tightened. Kai wrapped his arms around him protectively, resting his chin on his head, "I'm sorry, nothing I will say will make it better, but I'm responsible for him now. If he—pulls through, I can make arrangements for a foster home, I just—" his words were cut off when Yuriy pushed him back harshly, their contact breaking.

In his mind's eye, he could see himself. A small, scared child, sitting on a drab mattress. He felt the sting on the other orphans' words, the pain of the master's cruelty.

"You bastard!" he shouted, "The kid's fucking dying and all you can think about is sending him off, _if he pulls through_!"

Kai winced, his fists clenching and unclenching, "I don't want to lose you."

Yuriy felt his heart was about to burst, "He's a kid, he doesn't have to do with any of this. This is between you and me, Kai! Don't think you can make it better by trying to give up your kid for me!"

"I don't want what we have to end over something that had happened so long ago."

He shook his head incredulously, "How can you say that? It would've been better if you told me at the beginning, at least you would've been honest! We came so far, how can you say that?!"

Kai's calm demeanor began to take a turn towards uncertainty, "I don't know what to do," he admitted, "I've hurt you, and he's dying, Yuriy. I'm—," but he didn't continue.

Even though these words were said quietly, they brought forth everything that Kai was feeling; sadness and guilt, along with the fear of knowing that he didn't have control over the situation. Yuriy was now torn between his own emotions and comforting Kai. He shook his head once again, "I have to go. Thanks for taking me out." His voice was bitter.

As he made to leave, however, Kai grabbed his arm and looked into his eyes pleadingly, "I don't want to lose you," he repeated.

A sudden fatigue gave Yuriy the urge to lean for support on the other man, but he suppressed it. Instead he whispered, "I'm tired, I can't think this through properly. We'll talk later." There was no promise in his words.

Kai still didn't let go of him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his car keys, pushing them into Yuriy's hand, "You don't have your car," was all he said before he left the kitchen and made his way up the stairs. Yuriy had a half mind to follow and embrace him and never let go. But he turned and exited the house, Kai's Mercedes feeling oddly foreign when he drove it back to his apartment complex.

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

The sound of the alarm clock cut sharply through the haze of his sleep, and he groaned, turning around and reaching over to shut it off. Eyes closed, he made no move to get up. The previous night had been a string of frustrating restlessness, and he hadn't gotten much sleep. But in the place of the choking emotions that had swirled within him, numbness now resided. The lack of sleep was giving him a sick feeling; his whole body felt odd. He was just relaxing back into the mattress when his phone went off, the vibrations resounding on the wood of his bedside table. It bumped into his alarm clock in its movements and he sighed, cursing whoever it was that was calling him at this time before reaching over blindly and picking it up.

"_Morning."_

He shut his eyes tighter, "Hey."

"_I—didn't want to call. But I forgot that the hummer's brakes are busted and I need to get to work,"_ the voice was soft. When he didn't reply, it continued, _"Sorry for waking you."_

Yuriy ran a hand through his sleep mussed hair, "I was already awake, and I need to get to work anyway."

There was a sigh, _"Can you bring the Mer over? I'll drive you to work on the way."_

He nodded even though the other couldn't see him, "Yeah, but I still need to get ready," his voice sounded tight even to his own ears.

"_I can manage to be a little late."_

"I'll be there in 30," he replied and flipped the phone shut, letting himself slump back into bed for a couple more minutes. He really did not want to see Kai so quickly after what happened nor so early in the morning, but knew that he didn't have a choice. Cursing himself for taking the other's car the previous evening, he dragged himself up for a quick, refreshing shower.

Twenty-nine minutes later, hair still slightly wet and a cup of coffee in hand to compensate for breakfast, he realized that Kai hadn't had a much easier night than his. On the outside he looked as alert and stoic as ever, his black business suit ironed to perfection. But Yuriy noticed the little things that he had become familiar with over the years: the little twitch of his eyebrow, the constant hand running through his hair. But the biggest give-away was the travel mug of coffee he carried. Yuriy knew from experience that, quite amazingly, Kai didn't drink coffee unless overly stressed, much less in the morning. To his relief, however, Kai didn't mention their little conflict. As he drove Yuriy to work, the redhead having moved to the passenger seat when he got to Kai's house, they both remained silent. When the car pulled up before the MSRC and Yuriy made to get out with a muttered thanks, however, Kai finally spoke, effectively stopping him.

"I have to go see Yuki today."

Yuriy bit his lip, "That's his name?"

Kai gave a sharp nod, turning to look at him, "I know that things aren't exactly working out but can you come with me?"

He looked away, about to object.

"Yuriy," Kai pleaded, reaching out to hold his hand in a death grip, "I need you. Can we put yesterday behind us just for now? I—" he moved his other hand to stroke the still evident bruise on his cheek, but withdrew when Yuriy jerked under his touch, "You didn't sleep last night."

Sighing, Yuriy ran his free hand over his eyes and resisted the urge to throw the comment back at him, "I'll drive to the hospital after work." He pulled away from Kai's grip and got out, noting that he reached the front doors of the building before the other drove off.

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

"You look like shit," Bryan observed from Yuriy's chair when he got to his office.

"Get off," he commanded, ignoring the comment. Bryan obliged, moving to let him take his rightful place.

"No need to get touchy," he said before peering closer at him, "Are you okay?"

"Peachy," was the sarcastic reply, "Don't you have work to do? You're always in my office like it's a popular hangout."

Bryan grinned, "It kind of is, in the mornings. You don't seem to mind everyone else dropping in." As if to prove his point, he indicated to the newcomer, who had waltzed through the doorway wearing a bright smile.

"Morning ladies," Yuriy rolled his eyes at Enrique Giancarlos' annoying tactics, "Lovely weather today."

"What are you, high?" Bryan scoffed.

The blond clucked his tongue, "Some of us appreciate the little things, unlike you."

Sensing a comeback, Yuriy spoke before his lilac-haired friend could, "What are you doing here Enrique?"

"Just thought I'd drop by," he replied with a shrug, perching on the corner of the desk across from Bryan. Yuriy looked from one figure to the other, but before he could open his mouth to kick them both out, Julia came in.

"What is this, a special meeting I wasn't told about?"

Enrique eyed her with a grin, "Hello there, sexy."

Rolling her eyes, she addressed him and Bryan, "Out, the both of you."

"And if I don't leave?" Bryan's voice was mocking.

"There's something I need to speak to Yuriy about," she replied, crossing her arms defiantly.

He raised an eyebrow, "Surely there are no secrets to be kept; we're in a work setting."

"Which reminds me that you need to get down to the labs," Yuriy said pointedly. Bryan glared but gave in, grabbing a pouting Enrique and shoving him out before himself. He stuck his middle finger out as a last gesture before they disappeared, the door closing behind them. Yuriy shook his head; some days that man didn't get along with anyone. Julia, however, was unfazed; she merely plopped down in the usually unused chair in front of his desk.

"I take it there isn't something you want to discuss?" he said after a while.

She grinned, "Nah, just thought you needed help ridding of those two."

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

The hours that day seemed to fly by, and Yuriy found himself getting more and more tired as it progressed. He wasn't able to concentrate well, which resulted in him completing a dissatisfying amount of work. It did not help that a ticked off Bryan kept showing up, accusing him of siding against him. So it was a relief when five o'clock finally struck, signalling his freedom. He left the building at once, eager for some catching up on sleep only to remember that he had plans when he reached his car. The last thing he wanted to do right then was to meet up with Kai, much less at the hospital, but knew that he had to go. He had made a promise; Yuriy always kept his promises. He could take the easy way out, he knew, by excusing himself due to fatigue, but he also knew that his presence was crucial for Kai.

It was so that half an hour later, he found himself at the front desk of Tokyo hospital, asking for a Hiwatari Yuki. After mentioning that he was a family friend when asked his relation, he was informed that he was not allowed to visit him.

His brow furrowed, "But Ma'am, I am here with his father."

She shook her head, "Sorry, unless he is with you in person as to give permission, we cannot allow you a visit."

Exasperated, he pulled out his cell to call Kai but stopped when a hand was put on his shoulder and a deep voice said, "He's here with me, I'm Kai Hiwatari."

The woman's long-nailed fingers clanked on her computer screen for a moment before she looked up, "May I have a card of identification?"

Kai raised an eyebrow, "You doubt my words?"

"Sorry, hospital order," she replied unapologetically. Kai resignedly handed her his driver's license and waited until she verified him on her computer, "You only have to do this once," she said conversationally, handing the card back, "It's because you've never been here before."

"May I have the room number?"

"Third floor, intensive care section. Take a left to room 17."

Nodding, he turned and they both walked side by side to the elevators. As they waited for the lift, Kai moved his hand and entwined their fingers discreetly together. Yuriy tightened the grip, not having a heart to pull away. When they reached the assigned floor and found the ICS, Kai didn't go straight to his son's room. Still clutching the redhead's hand, he headed to the reception desk to speak to the nurse.

"Good evening," he said politely, and she looked up and smiled.

"Good evening, sir. Anything I can help you with?"

Kai shifted uncomfortably, "I'm Kai Hiwatari. My son Yuki was checked in yesterday of a car accident," he stopped talking until she checked the register, nodding. She wore a sympathetic look on her face as he continued, "I was wondering if I can speak to his doctor before I go see him."

"Certainly," she shuffled around and pulled out a few papers, "But first you must sign here and here, Mr. Hiwatari. I'm afraid the doctors had to take actions without your written consent," at his questioning look, she indicated down the hall, "Doctor Mizuhara's office is the second door to your right, she should be in. She'll explain everything."

"Thank you," he replied, leading Yuriy to the aforementioned office. When they got in, however, it was empty. Kai pushed him into one of the leather seats and rubbed his neck gently, opting to wait for the doctor to show up.

"You're really tired," he stated quietly after a few moments.

Yuriy sighed, the motion on his neck soothing him, "Kai…"

But their conversation was cut short when a blonde woman wearing a white doctor's coat stepped in, "Oh, hello. Sorry to keep you waiting, I stepped out for something," she approached and shook Kai's hand, "Doctor Judy Mizuhara."

He nodded in acknowledgement, "Kai Hiwatari."

"Yuriy Ivanov," Yuriy supplied when she shook his as well. She sidestepped the desk to her chair and sat down.

"Well, Mr. Hiwatari, take a seat," Kai did as told, though reluctantly, "First, I would like to say that I'm truly sorry about the accident. We regretfully could not save Ms. Yoshida, but little Yuki was rushed immediately to the emergency. Due to the nature of his injuries, we had to perform an operation instantly and so we weren't able to ask for your permission. He suffered from intense inner bleeding and several broken bones and fractures, but it was a success. I was not the doctor who operated, but I have been assigned to him."

Kai was tense in his chair, "How is he now?"

"I'm sorry, but he is in an unstable condition currently," she eyed Kai sympathetically as Yuriy reached over to hold his hand, "He is still in the critical 72 hour period after operation. I regret to say that these will be the defining hours as to the outcome," she paused, sighing, "It's always so hard telling parents."

"Do you think he'll make it?" Kai asked steadily, looking at her.

"We're doing our best. I cannot give you false hope but you should remain faithful. Yuki's already passed a phase of danger; he has a big chance to overcome this as well."

Yuriy's fingers were going numb from Kai's grip, and he stood up, pulling him up with him.

"Thank you, Doctor Mizuhara," he said, "We are allowed to pay him a visit?"

"Definitely, but be careful, he's hooked up pretty tight. If you need anything press the help button and a nurse will show up."

Nodding, he led a silent Kai across the hall and to a closed door with a small plate indicating the number 17. Pushing it open, the first thing they heard was the irregular sound of the heart monitor. The room itself was dim due to the drawn curtains and lack of lighting. He flipped the light switch and moved inside, letting the door close behind them. Kai left his side and walked slowly over to the small, fragile figure lying idly on the bed. Yuriy bit his lip at the sight: the boy, barely four, was covered up to his chest with a white blanket that matched everything else in the room. He had gauze around his head and visible right shoulder, and the skin that could be seen was an ugly swirl of multi-coloured bruises. On his face was a CPR mask, and a thick needle was in his left wrist, connected to IV therapy. The whole scene seemed wrong; it didn't fit for a child to look like that. Even so, Yuriy was still able to make out the many resemblances the boy had to Kai. Turning to the aforementioned man, he found him staring fixatedly at his son, hand stroking tiny fingers.

"Kai…"

Kai turned and engulfed him in a sudden embrace, "What if he dies?" he asked, his voice oddly choked.

Yuriy shook his head without conviction, "Don't say that," he whispered, "He's got a big chance to live."

For a long time after that, he held the other's hand for comfort and waited as Kai sat and watched his lifeless son.

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

Please don't forget to review. It motivates me and lets me know that people are indeed reading this. It makes me want to update faster!


	3. Confrontation

**Disclaimer/Warnings/Summary/Etc: **see chapter one.

**Notes:** There's a reason this chapter is so late! The more I worked on it, the worse it seemed. To tell you the truth, I hate it. However, I owe it to my reviewers, so here you guys go anyway. Hopefully next chapter will be better written.

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

Yuriy had returned home late the previous night after his visit with Kai to the hospital. He had been completely drained, his only comfort that he would be able to rest properly since the next day was a Saturday and therefore he did not have work. Nonetheless, he was woken up by the ringing of the phone earlier than he would have liked. It rang incessantly, and after a few moments of trying to ignore it, he dropped the act and shuffled closer to his bedside table. He picked it up angrily, about to disconnect the line for the caller to get a hint and to resume his sleep only to hear Bryan's voice.

"_Yuriy?"_

The addressed man fought the urge to curse at him and instead snapped into the receiver, "What do you want?"

"_Hey, ease up. What crawled up your ass and died?" _the voice sounded infuriatingly amused.

"You inconsiderate jerk. I was trying to sleep!" he ground out.

"_Calm down. It's past 11, since when did you sleep in that long?"_

Sighing in resignation, Yuriy shifted into a more comfortable position on the bed, "Came back late last night. And I needed to catch up on sleep."

"_Don't tell me you were out clubbing."_

"Not even close. Why are you calling, anyway?"

"_I'll be dropping by. Mind, baby?"_

"Don't call me that and depends. When?"

"_Right now. Don't try to object, I'm coming anyway; just though I'd warn you."_

"Whatever," he groaned, and threw the wireless phone across the room after cutting the line.

It landed on the carpeting with a muffled thud. Ignoring it, he flipped over and tried to go back to sleep. Fifteen minutes later found him getting increasingly distraught with his failed attempts. When his door phone rang, indicating the arrival of the lilac-haired man, he reluctantly got up to press the open button and unlock his front door. He then made his way for a shower without waiting for the other, which helped to ease his body and refresh him. Feeling considerably better, he dried his hair partially and wrapped a towel around his waist, grabbing his brush on his way to his bedroom. Yuriy figured that his friend would be eating his way through the fridge right then, but when he opened the door he found him lying back on his mattress, hands under his head. Bryan looked up and grinned.

"What is this, an early birthday present?"

Yuriy found his face heating up at his current state of nudity, and, not knowing what else to do with his shameless friend, chucked the brush in his hand at him. Bryan rolled out of its way effortlessly on the king-sized bed, causing it to land on the comforter.

Yuriy scowled, "Get out. I need to get dressed."

"Sure you mind me watching?"

Feeling uncomfortable under the other's gaze and wiggling eyebrows, the redhead crossed his arms, "I mean it, Get. The. Fuck. Out."

"Alright," Bryan subjected to the threatening glares shot his way.

He made his way to the door, unable to resist shooting him a smirk before closing it behind him. Visibly easing from his stiff posture, Yuriy crossed to his dresser, mindless of the towel that slipped off his hips. He picked out a black tank top and a pair of grey sweatpants before brushing out and blow-drying his hair. It took some time to dry its many layers, the longest strands reaching past his shoulders. He'd always wanted it cut shorter, but Kai had interjected to that musing, telling him that he really liked it the way it was. Feeling a slight pang at the reminder of the blunette, he made his way to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and something to eat.

Yuriy found a steaming mug attached to Bryan's hand, whom sat at the table and motioned to the coffeemaker when he saw him.

"Thanks," he said appreciatively, pulling out another mug and filling it with the extra coffee. He was about to reach for the fridge to sate his hunger when Bryan spoke.

"If you're going to eat something, don't. I ordered take out for lunch; it should be here soon."

Yuriy raised an eyebrow and glanced toward the stove's digital clock, not at all surprised to find it nearing to 12:30. Nodding in thanks, he leaned against the counter and sipped his drink, observing the other. The silence did not last for long as Bryan soon looked up, eyebrows raised.

"I know I'm sexy but any other reason you've been scrutinizing me?"

Rolling his eyes at the statement, Yuriy set the mug down and rubbed the back of his neck, "Can I talk to you about something?"

"I'm at your place, it's not like I have an option," Bryan replied, though he folded his arms before him and directed his full attention to the other despite his misleading words.

Yuriy looked down, fingering the handle of his mug as he speculated on how to tell his friend the truth. Finally, he said, "I was at the hospital last night. With Kai."

The other raised a brow, "Something happened to him?"

Yuriy shook his head, "No," he replied before reconsidering, "Well, kind of. Not directly."

"Okay, stop right there. If you want me to listen then you have to stop being so vague," once again Bryan's direct approach didn't fail him.

"I found out what he'd been meaning to tell me," Yuriy compensated, knowing that the words were not meant to discourage him, "I don't know what to do."

"What, he's gone bankrupt and you want to end it, because you've only been with him for his money?"

Yuriy was about to throw in an exasperated comment before changing his mind, "Do you really think that?" he asked instead, frowning.

Bryan rolled his eyes to indicate that he'd been joking, "He's a multi-millionaire with one hell of a business mind, he'd never go bankrupt," seeing that the redhead was still bothered he said, more softly, "No; just trying to lighten the mood."

Sighing and nodding, Yuriy continued, "This had happened five years ago, that's why I don't know how to take it. I'm hurt, and angry, but at the same time I feel bad for what he's going through. Even though I haven't even sorted out my stand on the matter, let alone forgiven him, I went to the hospital with him yesterday because—he asked me to come. He needed me, I just—"

"What _happened_?" Bryan's voice cut through his babble like a hot knife through butter.

Closing his eyes and deciding to just serve the blow, Yuriy opened his mouth only to be interrupted by the ringing of the door phone.

Bryan got up and fiercely jabbed the open button, turning to the redhead who shook his head. Seemingly irritated, he walked back and sat in his previous chair, crossing his legs, head titled in impatient inquiry. Yuriy was about to obtain money for the takeout, but Bryan pulled out his wallet and pushed a bill across the table. Ignoring it, he turned only to be stopped by the other's voice.

"Just take it; I'm the one who ordered."

Submitting at the man's tone, he walked over and plucked the bill off the wood. He then opened the door to wait for the delivery guy, who seemed surprised that his customer was standing at the front door like he had nothing better to do. Unabashedly sending him a half smile, Yuriy paid and closed the door before he could get another word in. He dropped their food-carrying cartons on the kitchen table along with Bryan's change, but neither of them made a move to eat. The smell of delicious noodles filled the kitchen, reminding Yuriy of his empty stomach.

"Aren't you going to eat?" he asked, sitting in the opposite chair.

"Don't try to stall. Something is wrong and I want to know what. I can see it on your face."

Yuriy decided to say it outright, "He cheated on me."

The words burned him even as he said them. He gulped back a lump in his throat at the effect, unable to meet the other's eyes. A moment of silence passed, in which something in Bryan seemed to explode.

"_WHAT_?"

He closed his eyes, "Five years ago," he whispered, "With a _woman_ and it resulted in him having a son."

When the silence grew too painfully long, he opened them to find an absolutely livid Bryan glaring at him.

"He cheated on you," he repeated slowly as though trying to keep his voice in check. The words seemed to resound infinitely. "Did you say that you fucking went with him to the hospital for whatever god forsaken reason last night?"

"That's just it!" Yuriy pushed away from the table and stood up, turning around to face away from him, "The mother of the kid died in a car accident. We went to see him; he's injured and might not make it."

"God damn it, Yuriy," Bryan's voice was harsh, "_He cheated on you,_ why would you give a damn about his son!"

"He might die," his voice shook, "It's affecting Kai really badly."

"Like hell it is! What about you, huh?"

When he didn't answer, he heard Bryan taking a deep breath.

"Hiwatari's hurt you many times. I hate seeing you hurt, that motherfucker is going to pay for this."

Yuriy found himself shaking his head, "Bryan…"

"Fuck! Think of yourself for one damned second!"

Yuriy buried his face in his hands. Everything was bubbling back at once; the rush of pain, the burning of anger. But mostly the definite feeling of being lost in a situation that hurt too much for him to handle. The tears were surfacing fast; he shut his eyes tightly to keep them in only to fail against the insistent flow. He bit back a sob against his will, repeatedly cursing himself mentally for letting himself cry in front of Bryan. He heard the slide of a chair against the floor moments before strong arms embraced him from behind, Bryan's larger form engulfing him.

"He doesn't deserve you," he said firmly.

"I love him, Bryan!" Yuriy choked out, quivering with emotion. The other's grip tightened.

"He's a fucking bastard who doesn't deserve you," Bryan's voice was now bordering on frighteningly enraged, "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

He spun the redhead around and took his hands away from his face, staring into Yuriy's tear-stained, scrunched up features. Another tear leaked out and rushed downwards, dripping off his chin and into his collar. Bryan's hand reached up to brush the second one that followed.

"Don't cry, damn it," he murmured, "I'm going to make that asshole regret everything."

Yuriy shook his head again, holding back the urge to sob his heart out, "I love him," he repeated.

"Stop this, Yuriy! He cheated on you, and lied to you! And then what, he made you visit his son with him for his own selfish reasons!"

"I can't help my feelings!" Yuriy countered, a fresh wave of tears building in his eyes, "I can't just break it off and get over him. I fucking love him! But what would you know about that!"

Bryan stepped back as though he'd been slapped. A bitter smile curled his lips, though hurt was evident in his eyes, "Just like you to assume," he said, his voice a disguise of suppressed emotions, "Do you think I have never felt that way toward someone, that I do not understand?" his hand gripped Yuriy's shoulder tightly, "Then why are you coming to me? Am I someone you come to when you're in need?"

Yuriy's heart felt like it was breaking all over again. He lunged forward and wrapped his arms around the other, burying his face into his chest.

"I can't believe you said that; I need you, Bryan. You're my closest friend," he shut his eyes tightly against the flow of his tears, "I'm sorry; I didn't mean what I said."

Bryan sighed and rubbed the red hair gently, his other arm returning the embrace.

"A friend," he whispered, "That's all I'll ever be to you."

It was Yuriy who stepped back this time, shaking his head in denial, "Bryan," he started, his eyes meeting the other's; they clearly swam with unsaid emotions. He felt his tears increase tenfold, blurring the image, "B-Bryan, what are you trying to say?"

Bryan pushed the hair away from Yuriy's face, his gaze boring into his eyes, "You may love him, but just know this, Yuriy. There is someone who _truly_ cares for you. Someone who'd never hurt you. And yet that someone is the one you always look over." He turned and began making his way to the door.

Yuriy was now sobbing uncontrollably, "I-I need y-your h-help in wha-at to do, B-Bryan! Not hav-ve y-your feel-lings thr-rown at m-me now!"

Bryan's fist was tightly clenched, "Just follow your heart."

"My heart belongs to Kai!" he cried.

The lilac-haired man disappeared down the hall, and moments later, the front door clicked shut behind him.

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

Yuriy cried for what felt like hours after his friend's departure. Through it all, he couldn't stop thinking about Bryan. Bryan who flirted with him on a daily basis. Bryan who teased him and annoyed him to no end. Bryan who had always stood up for him since childhood. Bryan who was selfish to uncover his feelings at such an inconvenient time. But most of all the Bryan he must have hurt; must have been _hurting_ all these years. And even so, deep inside, he knew that it was Kai whom he loved. Kai was hurting him just like he was hurting Bryan, yet he loved him just as Bryan cared for _him_. It was a thought he could not bare, a thought that constricted his chest; something he was helpless about. He was stuck in a delicate game of feelings, but he couldn't lie.

When his tears subsided, the silence became too unnerving for him. More than tired and emotionally drained, he looked across the table at their untouched takeout but couldn't bring himself to eat. The acidity in his empty stomach hurt but he knew that he wouldn't be able to consume a bite. Instead he stood up on unsteady legs and went to his bedroom, a thought singled out from the unsorted mess. He pulled out his cell phone and dialled a painfully familiar number, staring at it silently until Kai picked up.

"_Hey,"_ the voice said softly.

For a moment Yuri wanted to disconnect the line, but he knew that Kai had caller's ID. Hearing the other's voice made something within him crumble and he gulped back fresh tears as he said tiredly, "Kai…"

"_Yuriy, are you okay?"_

Yuri bit his lip, angry at himself for his stinging eyes. He held back a sarcastic _fantastic!_ and instead said, "Kai, I've thought it through."

Silence met his words.

"Say something," he urged with a whisper, a tear falling down to trail his cheek against his will.

"_There's nothing I can say. It's what you have to say about this now."_

The lack of reaction made it harder for him to hold back his emotions. He wished that the other would give a more charged answer; anything but the indifference he received. But he also knew that Kai was always collected, rarely letting on much emotion.

"First I want to say that I'm really hurt, and angry. It tears me apart every time I think that you cheated on me and then kept something as big as having a son, but I also—" he gave in to his urges and cried softly, "I-I also love you, Kai. I'm not going to end what we have."

"_I'm sorry,"_ he heard Kai whisper.

"I haven't f-forgiven you yet," Yuriy continued, his tears blinding him, "And this whol-le thing has changed something between us. I want you to show me that you truly regret it. I want you to explain to me why you kept the ordeal from me."

"_There's nothing to explain,"_ a sigh, and then, _"I'm not going to make up an excuse. I just want you to know that I truly am sorry. You mean the world to me, Yuriy. I was foolish, and then I was afraid to tell you. The concept of you leaving me, it scared me."_

"Kai…"

"_I did not expect you to forgive me. It's more than I can ask."_

Yuriy merely cried, attempting to muffle the sound.

"_Please stop crying, I can't bare it,"_ the voice now sounded pained.

His words might have seemed blatantly selfish, but Yuri knew the real meaning behind them.

"_I miss you,"_ Kai spoke once again, _"Can I come see you?"_

Yuriy began to nod, before realizing that the other couldn't see him. His 'yeah' was barely coherent even to his own ears, but Kai shut the line after promising to be there shortly. He stayed seated for a while, contemplating the situation. Finally, he changed before going to the bathroom to wash up and make himself more presentable. The mirror mocked him with his terrible reflection; his eyes were red and puffy, and the bruise on his cheek was still evident. _You look like shit, _Bryan's amused voice floated in his mind, painfully. He ran his hands through his hair and tried to suppress the thought, only for the lilac-haired man's voice to multiply and fill his very being. He knew that they would need to speak. He loved Bryan; the other was everything—but a lover—to him. He couldn't afford for their awkward confrontation to turn into distance and cost him their friendship. But he knew that it was going to take time before either of them would be ready to discuss the issue.

The door phone rang, distracting him and announcing the arrival of Kai. Ignoring it for the third time that day, Yuriy pressed the open button for the complex's front doors and waited tentatively for his boyfriend. Kai managed to knock only once before Yuriy threw the door open.

"I love you," Kai greeted softly, offering him a large bouquet of red roses.

Their hands touched as Yuriy reached for them, their sweet smell filling his nose. Kai wrapped his fingers around his before he hand a chance to pull away, and their eyes locked. For a long moment he stared into Kai's eyes. The eyes that, for once, were open to him. Kai's grip tightened on his fingers, conveying his emotions through unspoken words. It was Yuriy who finally broke both contacts, stepping aside to let Kai in. The blunette took off his shoes before following him to the kitchen. Yuriy set the roses on the table, his stomach twisting painfully in hunger when he saw the untouched takeout. _Bryan…_ he thought sadly as he turned, only to be pulled into a deep embrace.

"Didn't have time to get you something better," Kai murmured into his ear.

"Thank you," he replied in a whisper against the other's neck, "You know I appreciate them more than I would any fancy or expensive thing." He returned the embrace briefly before Kai pulled back.

"How long have you been crying?" he asked, looking imploringly into his eyes.

Yuriy tried to evade the question, "I look like shit, I know."

Kai shook his head, "You're beautiful."

The redhead was spared replying when the other leaned in and caught his lips in a chaste kiss, and Yuri wrapped his arms around the other's neck. Kai broke their lip-lock softly before moving to kiss every centimetre of his face. The smooth lips felt soothing against his tired features, and he relaxed into the fluttering touches contently.

"You didn't answer my question," the bluenette said when he finally pulled back.

Yuriy kept his eyes closed, "I don't know," he said, truthfully.

"Am I the only reason for your tears?" Kai asked after a pause.

Opening his eyes, Yuriy found the other's burning with guilt and another emotion lurking beyond the surface.

"A big part of it," he confessed, "I—had an argument with Bryan."

The violet eyes darkened, "Did he hurt you?"

_Ironic, _Yuriy mused before shaking his head, "I think it's more so the other way around."

Kai nodded and didn't question him further. He pulled the redhead back into his arms and rested his head on his shoulder. His embrace was tight but comforting; he seemed to never want to let go. Yuriy clung back to him tiredly.

"Can I stay the night?" he was asked after a while.

"Why?" Yuriy replied, his question lacking in inquiry. The answer he received, however, brought a small, bittersweet ache into his chest.

"I feel incomplete without you," Kai told him honestly, "But I also want to make it up to you."

"You have a lot of making up to do," Yuriy sighed, but moved back and pushed him to sit at the table, "But I need to eat first; haven't had anything all day."

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

See what I mean? It just seems badly put-together. I cringe every time I read over it. Hopefully I will still get some reviews, however.


	4. Hope

**Disclaimer/Warnings/Summary/Etc:** see chapter one.

**Notes:** Ahh, I am so sorry for taking so long, but I'm becoming increasingly unsatisfied with my writing. This was written quite a long while ago and the only reason I'm putting it up is for my reviewers. Thank you guys, I appreciate it.

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

"Kai."

Kai turned around, giving him a confused look.

"Kai?" he repeated, "Wait up."

Shaking his head softly, the bluenette faced forward once again and continued moving away at a steady pace.

"Kai!" Yuri called, running toward him. The ground beneath his feet didn't move, however. He was running—but he still remained in the same spot. The other man was disappearing fast until the white nothingness swallowed him whole.

"No!" he gasped, lunging forward. He fell face first— but he didn't hit solidness. A sick feeling erupted into his stomach; he kept falling and falling…

"Yuri," the now compressing dark murmured to him, "Yuri, Yuri."

There were soft touches to his chest as he rushed forever downwards. He shuddered, trying to jerk away from the feeling but they remained consistent.

"No," he groaned, eyes wide open in the utter blackness, "Nnn."

The feeling to his chest stopped. But he kept falling, his heart hammering in his throat.

"Yuri?"

And then, suddenly, he slammed down on something soft and… soft? Jolting awake, he flew into a sitting position and nearly knocked into Kai, who had been hovering over him. The other's fast reflexes saved them from a collision, however, and he felt him shift slightly before coming to look at him.

"What is it?" Kai asked.

Yuri ran a hand over his face, feeling slightly agitated, "Nothing. It's nothing—just a disturbing dream." He still felt sick to his stomach. It was so…

Kai continued to observe him. Yuri's eyes dazedly travelled down to look at the creamy skin of the muscular chest presented before him only to swerve upwards again when the other spoke.

"You kept saying my name."

"Oh," Yuri replied, giving him a slightly forced half-smile and trying to push the dream's after-effect to the back of his mind, "Am I not allowed to dream about you?"

But Kai frowned slightly, "You said it was disturbing."

"It's just a dream, Kai," he replied, rolling off the bed and stretching, careless of his state of nudity, "You were walking away and then I kept falling. It's stupid."

The bed creaked and then strong arms wrapped around him from behind, Kai trailing soft kisses on his neck. Yuri leant back with his eyes closed, almost wanting to go back to sleep.

"Shower?" he mumbled instead.

Kai nodded against his shoulder.

It was late that afternoon when Kai received a call from the hospital. Yuri stood tensely as he watched Kai listen to the line, but relaxed when the other let out a small sigh of relief. The bluenette thanked the speaker before flipping his mobile shut and turning to Yuri. His smile was slightly strained.

"He's going to be fine," he said, and Yuri knew who he was referring to. Kai looked uncertain of Yuri's reaction.

"I'm glad," Yuri replied. He remembered the broken boy on the hospital bed and felt immensely relieved that he was going to be okay. "How's he doing now?"

"Still healing," Kai looked suddenly hesitant of the whole situation, "They want to keep him in their care to monitor the process but he's awake now," he stared hard at the phone in his hand before slipping it into his pocket and looking up at Yuri, "They want me to come and see him."

The silence that followed was broken by Yuri, "Does he know?"

Kai's forehead creased in question.

"That you're—his father? Have you been with him before?"

Slowly, the bluenette shook his head, "I asked Saiko not to tell him. I—don't know why." He frowned slightly, "I'll go now. If that's okay with you."

Yuri nodded silently, and Kai leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his cheek before grabbing his jacket and moving to the door. He almost closed it behind him when Yuri called out.

"Kai."

The addressed man stopped, arm between doorframe and door.

"If… you wanted me to come…" Yuri started, unsure of his own words. Did he want to go? He didn't, but he didn't want to be left behind either.

Kai looked back, "If you want to come, Yuri, I don't mind."

The redhead ran a hand through his hair, having a mad urge to ask,_ do you want me to? _But nodded and grabbed his keys anyway.

Kai was the one who drove to the hospital, and there was no registration this time. They went straight for the elevators and then to the front desk of the intensive care section. There were a couple of nurses there, the one from their previous visit nowhere to be seen, and one of them came with them after they requested to visit Yuki.

"Doctor Mizuhara is with him now, as he's awake," she explained as they made their way down the hall, "He seems frightened and keeps asking for his mother, poor boy. I'm sure it'll be better now that you're here." Her last words were addressed to Kai.

He hesitated as they came to a stop at the closed door of room 17, "Does he know that I'm here?"

Her hand had turned the knob, but she didn't open the door. She looked back at Kai, "Doctor Mizuhara should be explaining that to him now. Ever since he woke up he's been confused, but it's probably just a temporary state of after-crash effect." Pushing it ajar, she stuck her head inside, "Doctor, Mr. Hiwatari is here."

"Ah," they heard her say and then, more softly, "Just wait for a little, Yuki. Can you do that?"

"I want my mommy," a small voice whimpered. Kai moved forward only to be prevented from entering by the nurse.

"I'll be back," the doctor promised before appearing and closing the door behind her. She was frowning slightly.

"Hello, Mr. Hiwatari, and—Mr. Ivanov, was it?" she questioned Yuri, who nodded. Turning back to the former, she said, "There seems to be confusion in this matter. I told him that you'd be coming but he has shown no sign of recognising a fatherly figure in any way." As Kai visibly winced, she continued, "Am I to understand that this is not a result of the accident?"

"He doesn't know. About me, I mean," Kai replied, "He lived with his mother. I believe that she never told him about having a father," he said in way of explanation, conveniently leaving out the part that it had been upon his own request.

The nurse, whose eyebrow had risen at this new revelation, excused herself, "Did you need me for anything, Doctor?"

"No. Thank you, Melissa. You can see to other matters now." As Nurse Melissa started walking away, she seemed to change her mind, "Actually, can you keep Yuki company for a little?" Turning back, the nurse nodded and entered the room, closing the door firmly behind her. "It is not becoming that we discuss this out in the corridor, please come on in here." Doctor Mizuhara led them to an empty room two doors down and closed the door for some privacy.

"Will I be able to see him today?" Kai seemed unable not to ask.

"Well, we have to sort this little misunderstanding first," the doctor replied, "Yuki is in a fragile state of mind right now, as I'm sure you know. I thought that having you see him will bring him some comfort and help the matter at hand," she paused slightly, "Mr. Hiwatari, have you even met him before?"

Slowly, Kai shook his head.

"Well, you should have told us this beforehand. Introducing Yuki to what would be a stranger to him might do the exact opposite of what we want. He is still very young and doesn't have the comfort of his mother, even though he doesn't know that she is no longer here. Yet."

Yuri leaned against the wall, a ways away from the two, and tried to blend into the background. But Kai's eyes kept flitting toward him, as though seeking aid—something Yuri couldn't give him in this situation.

"I understand your concern but…" Kai trailed off.

"We cannot stop you from visiting him, Mr. Hiwatari, as you are his lawful guardian now. Prevention is only allowed if we are certain that it poses as a danger to our patient. However, his current mental state, coupled with his age, a mere four—?"

"And two months," the bluenete finished for her, looking wary. "What alternative do you suggest then?"

"Pardon?"

"If you think it's not a good idea for me to see him. I _do_ have full custody of him now, so he will have to meet me sooner or later."

"Yes," she nodded, "But I was thinking to give it some time… let him settle and have his confusion cleared. He does not even know how he acquired his wounds. I believe that it's a short-term memory loss from the impact."

But Kai was shaking his head, "I need to see him."

"It is your choice, Mr. Hiwatari. However, you _will_ be accountable if it worsens his state, and I mean that in no threatening terms. After all, we are responsible for the well-being of our patients." She turned to Yuri, "Mr. Ivanov, did you have an intention of visiting him as well?"

Yuri hesitated, "I'm here with Kai. I can wait while he sees him."

She nodded approvingly, "That will be for the best, I think. Mr. Hiwatari, I promised Yuki to be back and I'm still working on his trust of me. So you may have to wait a few moments while I fulfill that promise."

They returned back to room 17, and Doctor Mizuhara entered. The nurse, who had been with Yuki during this time, exited and shot the pair a smile before sauntering off. It was not long before the blonde doctor opened the door, still talking to the small boy.

"…let your visitor in now. I'm afraid I can't stay, but you can press the button if you need me. Alright, Yuki?"

There was no audible response and then she held the door open for Kai to enter, giving him a sympathetic look. Kai nodded in thanks and moved forward. Yuri caught a glimpse of the pale boy still lying down before the door was shut and the woman turned to him.

"I'll wait here," he told her, slumping against the wall. But she did not walk away. Instead, she came nearer.

"This must be a very hard time for him," she said gently, and Yuri knew who _him_ was. "But I don't understand why Yuki wasn't told about his father before. He is old enough to comprehend."

Yuri merely inclined his head.

"I'm glad he has you for support. It seems that you are close friends."

Her words reminded him of their past visit, and maybe now not-so-subtle hand holding. _It's none of your business_, he wanted to say, but he didn't. Not knowing what else _could_ be said, he remained silent and merely looked at her. Did she not have matters to attend to, anyway? After a short pause, she finally seemed to be coming back to her senses.

"Well, I'll get going now. Take care, Mr. Ivanov."

Yuri did not have to wait long after she disappeared. The door he was leaning next to opened and Kai slowly stepped out, only turning back around briefly for a murmured, "Bye, Yuki."

The redhead instantly straightened up, watching cautiously as the bluenette closed the door and turned to him.

"Did you talk to him?" he asked.

Melissa appeared, and Kai didn't reply.

"Did Yuki press the button?" she asked.

Kai shook his head, "I did. I'm leaving now, but Yuki said he wanted to see Doctor Mizuhara."

"I'll call her," the nurse replied, "Goodbye, then."

As they walked out of the hospital and to the parking lot, Kai stopped by a bench and sank down. After a second's pause, Yuri sat down as well and watched the colourful palette of the sky that indicated of the now setting sun.

"How did it go?" he asked after a few moments of silence.

"I told him," Kai turned to look at the redhead, "That I'm his father." As Yuri turned sideways to watch the heavenly shades playing across the other's face, he continued, "He seemed scared. But he's so young—I wasn't sure what else to say."

Yuri nodded lightly and Kai went on, "Not—not in a frantic way. Just apprehensive. He believed me, though. Asked why I didn't live with them. And then he wanted me to bring his mother." He reached over and traced the knuckles of the hand propped between them by Yuri.

"What did you do?"

"Told him she travelled away. I couldn't tell him that she died—he understands the concept."

"Kai."

Kai looked up to meet Yuri's intense gaze. His hand now rested on top of Yuri's and he sighed.

"It's so weird," he admitted, "Meeting my own child, for the first time. He's so small and frail. I just want to…"

"Protect him?" Yuri compensated.

Kai only nodded.

"I'm sorry," he said after a while.

"What for?" Yuri asked softly, turning his palm up under Kai's hand to entwine their fingers.

"For hurting you. For putting you through this with me."

Yuri said nothing and Kai's grip tightened.

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

Kai returned to his own house that night, and while Yuri was tempted to ask him to say, things had felt slightly awkward. Both of them had work the next day anyhow, and he found himself lying alone on his bed in the dark. The pillow he huddled to his chest smelled painfully of the bluenette. He brought it up and buried his face into it, but the scent prevented him from falling asleep. Images of the night before flashed through his mind, of husky voices and heavy breathing. Kai's lust-clouded eyes hovered through his inner vision, eyes that suddenly morphed into mischief-filled lilac. He threw the pillow away and sat up, moving to the living room and dropping on the couch.

Yuri fumbled on the couch, trying to get into a comfortable position and finding it impossible. He gave up in the end, lying for what felt like hours in the dimness until his swirling thoughts lulled him into a restless sleep.

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

It's shorter than the others but please don't forget to review, it motivates me.


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